24 October 2010
I've been drinking everyday since Wednesday. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with our marriage. You said you are not in the wrong, but, 2 person in a relationship, when it fails, the failure must be caused by a reason and again, the reason caused by a person in the relationship. Since you said that you are not in the wrong, it's not wrong of me to assume that I am in the wrong instead, right? I asked you what did I exactly do wrong, you can't give me an answer. All you can say is that you didn't say that I am in the wrong either. Do you even know what is wrong in this relationship?! I asked for an explanation for your recent behavior, you can't give me one, not to say that you don't even bother to cook up a lie for me to excuse your behavior. I asked you a few questions, you can't even answer me one. You keep saying, since there's no way to resolve this, than let's just get a divorce. I asked you to apologize to me if you are sincere in me giving you another chance. But you said again that you are not in the wrong, so why should you apologize to me. I said, just take it that I asked you to apologize for even saying the word 'DIVORCE'. But you said that saying this is not wrong of you. WTF?!
You may be pressurized from your work and your mum. But that doesn't mean that you can take it out on me and just think that it's totally fine for you to do this.
HELLO DUDE, I'M YOUR WIFE, NOT YOUR OUTLET FOR ANGER! It's just so not
FUCKING fair!!! And when I do not allow you to just take it out on me, you said you want a
GODDAMN DIVORCE!
Hey Marcus Wong, go ahead! Have a divorce with me! You will fucking regret it for the rest of your life. You know why?! Cus, you will move to your mum's place together with the maid and the kids. When the maid is there, your mum will
DEFINITELY make her do housework. Nobody will then take care of your kids! Why? Cus your mum DO NOT know how to look after kids! And Zachery is a toddler now, Xeryl will soon become a playful girl. When your mum is not able to give them the attention they need, she will get frustrated from their crying. And when you go back home from work? Your precious mummy will take it out on you! And by then, you will
REGRET that you ever divorce me! HAH!
Yes, I do speak confidently. I am very confident that you will be faced with this scenario in no time.
Do live comfortably in
REGRET, Dude!
13:45
11 October 2010
Few days ago, I ask the husband what does he see 3 years down the road, be it family wise, kids, career, etc. He said he sees himself doing better than he is now, career wise. Kids, they will be obedient, and keen on studying. Family, if we're still together, we'll be much more loving than we are right now, if we're not, he don't see anything. Housing, he'll wants to stay in a condo by then. Parents, he will want his mum to be fit and healthy.
He asked me the same question. I said I don't know. He said I've got no aim in life.
2 days later, his friend asked me what kind of job I'm looking for. Where/what's my interest. I wanted to give him a really good answer, but when I opened my mouth to answer him, I realize that I don't know what's my interest, what I want to achieve in the job. I was baffled.
3 days later, I am still thinking about this 2 questions. And suddenly, something hit me from nowhere! I've been pregnant and been staying at home for the past 2 years. Which explains why I do not know the answers to these 2 questions! I've never thought about going out to the society to work when I was pregnant. All I wanted to do was to study and study. I guess it's also partly cause the husband does not wished for me to go out and work. And he's always telling me to go study and learn some technical skills. And perhaps, use the skill to start a business etc.
But, this doesn't answer the questions! I shall go think about it again. I'll blog another post once I've found my life goals.
Tata.. XOXO
01:58
Why did you guys come back after so long? After you've figured out that I've grown stronger, I'm able to make things right and even much more better than what all of you have predicted, after I've picked myself up.
Are you guys even friends at all? Cause to me, friends don't dump friends when they are in their worst moment. Friends don't push friends into the furnace. Friends don't leave friends alone when they are faced with problems that are do or die.
I am cautious with who I mixed with now. I know a girl who is a party girl. But since she started her new job, she knew another girl. This new girl introduced her to drugs. Now, I've never seen her when she's not high. Whenever I go drink at this pub, I'll see her and her new friend together, without fail. Her friend will look super awake and she will be super high. Her friend does not bother about her, and, I don't know. I.. pity her.. Her friend doesn't give me good vibes, and... She just got stuck to this friend and dump her cousin. They used to be really close, as in, they have sleepovers, they do everything together. Once she made this new friend, she dump her cousin. I guess it's the drugs that are making her sticking to this new friend.
But, the cousin is still looking out for her without fail. I know it, and I like the cousin more than her. I do help to look out for her when she's drinking there and I happen to be there. I am not in close contact with her tho'.
So, shouldn't friends watch each other back, help them up when they're down? Say, even if friends have no means to help friends, shouldn't they just hug together and cry together and after crying, try to solve the problems together?
I used to have a few really good friends. I tell them every single thing that happened to me. They have very different personality, but they do have one thing in common, which pisses me off much, few years back. That one thing that they have in common is that they don't listen quietly for you to finish complaining, whining, whatever shit. They will interrupt your sentences with unasked advices. Ohh, and I was the one who introduced them to each other. After I got to know this certain guy and shit happens, I was forced to come to a decision which was a do or die situation. I was in a dilemma. I sought their help. They gave me the die decision. I can't make this decision as I was forced on the do decision. So, I ended up choosing the do decision.
In this kind of situation, what would true friends do? Wished their friends all the best? Or, just leave them till they decided to come back to you? Or, just disappeared without saying anything?
I am not blaming anyone on this, but as a friend, shouldn't you just accept who your friends choose to be with at the end of the day even if he/she made a wrong choice? How hypocritical is that? If I were in this situation as a friend of the 'victim', I will stay with him/her all the way. I wouldn't just disappear without saying anything even if I know that he/she is making a wrong choice in their partner. Yes, I would persuade them to leave their bf/gf, but if they choose not to, I will still stand by them no matter how much I dislike their partner.
Stop giving me stupid excuses. You come and leave as you please. What do you take me as?
I am what I am today, it's cause I believed in my husband, I know he can do it. I do have to thank you guys too, for letting me know that I shouldn't trust people easily no matter how close you are to them.
01:46
