03 June 2009
i see my friend's photos with her husband and son and they seems so happy together.. can't we have the same thing too? all that i wanted from you are simple and minor things which you can't fulfil.. right now, all i ask for is a sense of security from you, caring for me especially after we quarrel.. you keep saying that you care for me, you worry about me, but it seems like after every quarrel, you just don't even care whether i die or not..
sometimes i don't even know wad's going on in your mind.. can't you just open up and speak up? why keep everything inside you? my frens tells me that we have got a communication break down, i say we are not open to each other's opinion.
22:42
why are guy so fucking masochistic? why must they fucking push the blame to others when they are the one at fault? why must they point fingers at the other party for starting everything when they are the ones who started it? can't they just admit that they are in the wrong totally instead of pushing some fault to others as well?
you know, men claims that they give in to women in every aspects. but do you think that it's logical that when they give in to women in every aspects (as they claimed), they will lead to quarrels? personally, i don't think so. In fact, women are usually the ones who gives in or keep quiet about things that they are unhappy with.
i for one, keep quiet about things that i am unhappy with till i cannot bottled up inside me anymore and when i blow, you better run. he claims that i can voice out about anything that i am unhappy with and when i voiced it out, he claimed that no such thing ever happened or words being said or thoughts being thought! again, who would know that you have never for even a fleeting second entertained that particular or related thoughts in your head? no one would know, only you yourself!
i am pissed off and getting frustrated for not being able to voice out my opinion, my frustrations, my unhappiness and get it acknowledge! i want some acknowledgement instead of questions like,'when did i say that? why do you think that i will think this way?' etc... if i voice it out and lead to 'discussion' a.k.a quarrels, for fuck i voice it out. when i don't voice it out, you just fucking assumes that i am okay with everything that you've decided for me like a father decides for his young and ignorant daughter! i am no longer a small girl! i am carrying your precious little baby (and little girls can't do that)! i can make judgements and wise decisions(in my eyes) for myself! i don't need you hawking around saying the same thing everyday like 'have you taken your supplements? must drink more water. remember your meal.' puh-lease... i am not a fucking busy executive who is so bloody busy with work that she forgots her meals and forgot about getting hungry. i am not a toddler that needs to be fed water and supplements/medications! why are you asking me to take my supplements and meals on time? just cus that little precious baby of yours can absorb and won't go hungry? what makes you think that i won't eat when i'm hungry? why must you force me to eat alot when we happen to dine together?
you are treating me like a fucking child! I AM NOT A FUCKING CHILD! SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE! I AM A FULLY GROWN WOMAN WHO NEEDS HER THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS TO BE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED!
what makes you think that by sacrificing your meals and letting me spend money(quoting your words) will make me happy? to be frank, i did not spend money at all. daily expenses like food, yes! but unneccessary stuffs, no! the crystals, you yourself say wanto get it for me even tho i said no i don't want it. and at the end of the day, you come blame me for wasting money on it. hey dude, i am trying to help save here, can't you be abit more cooperative? not to mention the money that you borrowed for those people, i.e: your colleague, your frens, your parents. just talking about the money you borrowed from your colleague, you spent it on returning your frens, your debts, drinking, late night cabs, hotel. and you say i spend alot. hello? all the money is with me and yet you come say i spend. you still say want to leave 650 with me for the gynae and end up with only 350. i said i want to use this 350 to pay my internet bill, you turned sulky. it's not like i'm not getting back the money by the time we need to visit the gynae. talking about to gynae infuriates me. i said i don't want to see a gynae and you force me to it. all for your precious little angel and blames me for having to see the gynae now every month. it's like WTF?!
puh-lease lahz!!! next time before you open your mouth to blame me for anything, think about wad you did that made me react that way, quoting your words, throw my temper everyday. and think about whether the thing that you did, are you in the wrong first before pushing all the fucking blame to me. don't think that just because i am carrying your precious little angel, you can blame me for all you want and i won't walk away and just ren qi tun sheng. one's tolerance have a limit. don't come threaten me with things like you will just dump me just cus he cannot tolerate my temper. i am not threatened by you!
也许你可以很理直气壮地告诉全世界的人你已尽力了，但错还是在于你。就因为你先犯错，你就得忍受。
02:45
