Today is suppose to be out date. But you are having a company dinner tonight. So, in what way is it a date when you have to either

a) Send me home at 5+, so that you can prepare for the dinner, or

b) Leave me somewhere alone till you finish your dinner.

How about standing in my shoes and think about why am I so upset today and chose not to tell you about it?

So what if I tell you how I feel? All you'll say is this is company dinner, what can I do? I got no choice. Can't you try to be more understanding, etc etc etc...Yada yada yada... And it'll all turn out to be my fault again.

You got no mood to go for movie anymore also my fault, when you are coughing like mad and I'm not enjoying myself at all. If you had taken the Chinese medicine, which you yourself choose to buy at the medicinal hall yesterday, on time, you would have been much better today! I asked you nicely have you finished your medicine, all I get is, It's very bitter, I don't want to drink. I'm not going to see a western doctor or take any western medicine after this. Come on! Western medicine, you say not good. Chinese medicine, you say too bitter, you don't want to drink. Then how the hell are you going to get better?! Tell me lahz!

I don't like injections, I still must have it, for the sake of your daughter. I don't like eating medicine, I still have to take it ON TIME for the sake of your daughter! Can't you just finish the medicine for the sake of yourself?! So that you won't cough till so fucking hard? Keep coughing very shuang arhz?! You know you are coughing fucking badly, yet still want to smoke! Then now I know I'm very pregnant, can I smoke too?!

讲你两句，你就不爽。不讲你，你又说我不关心你。你到底想要怎样?!

If you were the one who has to stay home everyday not being able to walk about and have to confine to the bed alone, without your partner to accompany you, how would you feel?

If your partner promised you a day out alone, just the 2 of you, and at the eleventh hour, tells you that he/she has to attend a company dinner and thus, not able to spend the whole day (e.g 12nn - 12mn) with you, how would you feel?

If your partner comes back home, and all you want to do is to tell him/her what you have found online when he/she is not around, and all the replies you got is some grunts and sounding very irritated with you, how would you feel?

Some of you would have been really angry/pissed off at all these. But frankly, I am not pissed or angry at all. All I'm feeling right now is just plain disappointment.

But you, as the person closest to me, says that I am angry over these kind of stuffs. I am not.

I keep everything to myself to avoid quarrels. I keep everything to myself to not spoil your mood/day. I keep everything to myself and pretend that everything's alright, for the sake of you. And all you can tell me is, I am petty and I shouldn't be angry over all these things which you are not able to choose or have a control over it.

Well, I really don't know what else to say if you insist that I am angry over these minor things. After all, I can be disappointed, can't I?

16:02

You know of my previous post of breaking the husband's high score and he re-broke mine again? Today, I broke his score again! By a margin of 50 in the Classic mode!

I went for my routine gynae check up today. I can stop taking the medicine, I have to continue taking my Iron and the baby is a healthy 2.4KG now. The doctor says that if the baby choose to come out anytime now, it'll be very safe already. So that's one thing off my mind right now, not that I have alot on it to start with. Hahas..

I saw this name necklace here.
The husband has so kindly said that he will buy for me! I'm mad happy can?! On top of that, he agreed to buy me a new camera! I've been raving and wowing over the new Olympus E-P1 camera after XX wrote a review on it. I'm totally into effects and stuffs in my compact camera. After talking to my primary school friend after cameras, he told me that SONY had launch a new camera 2 months back. Same price as the Olympus E-P1, but it has a better feature.




22:06

I felt a type of 'high' when I broke the husband's Fruit Ninja score that afternoon. I took 3 days to break his score. But this feeling of 'high' didn't manage to last me till the next day.

He broke my score, that very night. Yup, you didn't read it wrong, it's that very night. I was shocked beyond words that he could so easily break my score. Not 1 mode, but the 2 modes! He broke my Classic high score and my Zen high score! I was totally speechless.

Ohh well, I guess he's just lucky. He got a dragonfruit at the start of the Classic mode and he's always been better than me in the Zen mode. So... He's just lucky...

Anyway, enough about the game.. Let's move on to the hospital stay.

I'm alone the whole afternoon and night. I think I like being alone. The contractions came in the evening earlier on, it was so painful that I woke up from my sleep. Got transferred to the first stage labor ward.. Got observed there for about 3-4 hours.. And the doctor finally decided that I should rest in my room instead of the labor ward. Which I totally agree! I think I'm getting anti-social. Hahas...

Lyon brought his laptop for me, but he couldn't pass to me cus I was in the labor ward. But, he said he'll pass to me tomorrow if I have to stay for another day. I guess, there's a really high chance of me staying another day here.

I am really worried about the hospital bill. As of this morning (18/07/10), the bill came up to 1.5K already. That's excluding 18/07/10 itself. Imagine I have to stay till I give birth... OMG! I really can't imagine how much the bill will come up to...

Well, I gotta get some rest now.. The nurse is coming in anytime to check on me now.. Night people! おやすみ、みんな！
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02:06

It all happens after I had my massage yesterday. Went to the toilet, pee, clean up. I thought everything was alright till I spotted some blood on the toilet paper...

I tell you, I was damn cool about it. I called up my mum, told my mum about it. She asked is it a lot, etc... I replied her questions calmly and she told me to monitor it and see how it goes. If there's a need, I'll have to go hospital. After hanging up the call with mum, I called my gynae. He told me to go straight to the hospital.
So off to shower, and waited for Nicolle to come pick me up to send me to hospital.

Once admitted, got into delivery suite, was feeling damn hungry. Asked for food, but they say kitchen close for the day. Really FML at that point of time... Got Nicolle to get some food for me from the cafe downstair. Ate my food, gynae came in, made some checks, told me cannot give brith, cus baby's lungs not yet fully develop. So I need to take med every 6 hour to stop my cervic from opening, 2 injections for baby, to help baby's lungs to develop fully just in case she die die want to come out within these few days.

She's a fighter, I tell you. Not fully develop still wanna come out.

So I've been in the hospital since last night till now. For the first time, I really hope that I can be discharge ASAP! I wanna play my FB game! I miss my room! I miss my bed! I miss everything at home..!
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00:44

Why am I always the one waiting for your call?
Why am I always the one who don't receive replies from you?
Why whenever I call you, you don't pick up, and when you called me back or picked up after a few calls, you are not apologetic at all?
And when I don't pick up your calls, replies your SMS, you will get angry. Haven't you stand in my shoes and try to see from my point of view?
I feel like a small child in your presence. I feel like I need to get your approval in everything I do, and when I don't, I get upset (tho' I don't show it out).
It's like everything have to go and be done according to your way. When I suggest otherwise, you will get defensive, angry, and insist on doing it your way. Is it your ego acting up or is it just in your blood like your mum?
Whenever I text you, I won't get any replies when you are the one who asked me to text you when I have something to tell you. It's just so different. I don't like it. When we were still dating, you would reply to my SMSes like immediately and when you don't, you will apologize about it. But now that we are married, you don't even bother replying and when you does reply, it's always 'take good care of yourself, love.' and nothing else. Is it cus you are bored facing my everyday? Is it cus you don't love me anymore? The topics between us is always about your job and the kids. Nothing else. Whenever I try to talk to you about me, you will be like totally not interested in what I do at all. Whenever you called while you're at work, it's always 'hey baby, I reach the vessel already. Here got no reception, I'll call you when I'm done with paperwork. Anything SMS me. Love you, bye'. And all I got to say was 'Okay, love you bye'.
When you're done with paperwork, you'll call as promised, but the conversation will go 'Hey lao po, I finish my paperwork already. I'm going to sleep liaoz. Call you tomorrow when I reach shore. Love you, bye'. And again, all I got to say was 'Okay, love you too, bye'.
I text you, you don't bother replying. You text me, I haven't even got the chance to read the message, you call me and demand to know why I didn't reply your message. WTF?!
Now, who can tell me, what kinda 'healthy' relationship is this?

19:43

I'm due anytime! YES! I'm so excited! Finally! I always get questions like am I scare of giving birth, is giving birth painful, etc... And I always answered with a 'No, I'm not scared of giving birth. After all, if you are scared of giving birth, you still have to go thru with it and the fear of it will make it worse. So I chose the easy way out of it, but relaxing myself and go with the flow.', "giving birth is not painful at all as I had epidural. I got no contractions, and the only time when I felt pain was when the baby's head is coming out, and when the nurse insert her whole hand into my vagina to check my cervix opening. That was the experience of my first child, Zachery, as you all know. As for this pregnancy, I honestly don't know whether it will hurt anot, every pregnancy is different and for this pregnancy, I'm more xin ku (tired, bodyache, etc..). And I've got Haxton Bricks Contractions too! Which hurts like hell. It feels like a balloon turned into a basketball inside your stomach. That's how it feels like.' These will be my usual replies.

Ask me the same questions now, I'll probably tell you the same answer. I went for my last check up, my gynae actually says that tho' the official EDD (Expected Due Date) is on 27 Aug, he's actually expecting her to come out on late July to early Aug. My mum predicted within 3 weeks. So I can now officially say I am due anytime now! =D Which means that, I have to got thru the confinement shit again, like no plain water, no cold water, no showering (yucks), etc... I can't remember the rest of the rules as I didn't follow them religiously the previous time.

I'm eating way too much now and I can't help but eat and eat, I just feel hungry all the time. And my mouth will water whenever I think of food. Funny how pregnancy can make you right? And people says, when you start doing/eating things that you normally will not do/eat, you are due anytime.. lols.. Usually I can't stay home all the time, now I can, I just don't feel like going out at all. Usually I don't eat much, but now, I feel like eating all the time. hahahaahs... This actually explains my sudden weight gain.

Okay, I shall just end here and go watch my DVD.. :D


XOXO

01:18

I went to Wen Luxe Spa to get Deniz to do my nails for me. I asked for inlay Rose design, but ended up getting glitter French gel nails instead using sequins. I don't mind having glitter French nails instead of inlay rose as I got no time today and I didn't know that it's gonna take 3hours. But I am really disappointed with his work today. Go google Deniz Lee, he won several awards and he's well-known in this industry and he's capable of doing a set of nails perfectly. But this time, I don't know what's wrong with him, his work is just not up to standard.

The sides of my nails, is crooked, is jagged to feel and the nail bed there, supposed to be smooth, it's lumpy. Initially, I feel that he's the best in nail art, nail extension. After I met JunYing, I think that she's better. I dare not confirm this till... Now, I definitely won't go back to Deniz to get my nails done, he charge me $182 (with GST) for Gel extension and the French tip. WTF?! $180, I can get JunYing to do something much more nicer than what he has done now! The extension is nail tip extension, mind you, not structured extension. If he did structured extension for me, I wouldn't have been so pissed and so 'bu fu' to pay so much!

Argh! Totally not up to standard. Looking at my nails from a distance (normal viewing distance) is still alright. But to feel it and look at it up close, I really want to die.... OMFG!!!

00:36

Bienvenida! Hi, this is a blog regarding my life. If you ain't happy with what you're seeing, Please feel free to click on the 'x' button at the top right hand corner of your screen. And please refrain from dissing. Other than these, Please enjoy your stay here! =)

Queen Sammi
Complicated with a touch of Simplicity