As most of you may know, I've successfully given birth to a healthy baby girl at Mount Alvernia Hospital on 07 Aug 2010 at 0349hrs. But most of you do not know the actual process of labor. So here I am, trying to recall and blog out everything that happened during the process of bringing her out into this cruel and harsh world.

As usual, I was about to fall asleep at 12mn with the husband by my side, but I was feeling really uncomfortable. How should I put this down in words? It's like I have this naggy feeling inside me and I just can't find any words to describe it. I told the husband about it and he just told me not to worry and everything will be fine. After saying this, he promptly fell asleep and snored. Me? I closed my eyes and listened onto his steady snoring which after all these years, I've grown accustomed to it, so accustomed that at a point of time, when I didn't hear him snore, I am unable to fall asleep. Anyway, I was trying to sleep when I felt 2 sharp pain/pressure on my uterus. I thought it was the  braxton hicks contractions
, thus giving it little notice and wishing hard for it to pass away soon. But to my surprise, it did not go away, in fact, it stayed there for like 30 sec and soon after that, I felt a gush of water coming out from my vagina. I thought it was the pregnancy discharge which you will feel gushes of water coming out through out the pregnancy, but it wasn't. My water bag burst! I woke the husband up immediately and he was so blur when I told him what happen. He was so lost and basically, he just doesn't know what to do.

I told him to get me a towel, so that I won't wet the bed and he was panicking! He asked me where is the towels. -.- Obviously it's in the toilet, isn't it? Well, anyway, he was really supportive in the 'pushing' part but not as supportive as when I was delivering Zachery. Anyway, I got him to make a few calls for me when I was cleaning myself up to go to the hospital. He called my doctor, he called the hospital and he called his parents, I called my mum on the way to the hospital.

Upon reaching the hospital, the husband went ahead with the admission paper works while I was being pushed into the delivery suite and changed into the hospital gown.

Midwife came, check the opening of cervix and informed me that it had already dilated 7cm. Meanwhile, the contraction pain was killing me and I asked for epidural, which the midwife that the anesthetist might not be able to make it on time, and even if he does, the medication might not have enough time to work as it needs 20-30 mins for it to take effect. There I was lying on the delivery bed, willing the baby to wait for an hour or so. I keep telling the baby, please wait for awhile more of you love mummy, you're hurting mummy and so mummy needs the anesthetic to bring you out to this world.


Miraculously, the anesthetist managed to come in 10 mins time as he was nearby and able to give me the epidural in like 30 mins time and during this 30 min, I was breathing in laughing gas when the anesthetist was doing his thing. I was feeling super high after breathing in 3-4 breath of the gas and after i guess the 10th breath, I was away into lala land. Everything was slower by 3 sec, I know, cus I sort of counted my real life breath and the breath I heard in my head. There's this sound that the machine make when you breathe in with the mask on, like on TV shows, that's how I counted my real life breath. The room was quiet, and at that point of time that I'm away feeling high, the silent was deafening. That's when I realized how loud the silent actually was. I felt the anesthetist rubbing my back with some cottons soak into some sort of liquid and it's really cold. I heard the sound of him rubbing, I heard the sound of needle poking into my skin, I heard a sort of beeping sound that goes, beep beep beep (regularly), then, it suddenly beeps really fast, and after 3 sec, it goes, beeeeeep (long and non-stop). Like when someone died, the machine can't detect the heartbeat and at the point of time, I thought I died. I wasn't scared, I didn't regret anything that I've done and not done. I realize that it was probably cus I lived my life to the fullest and am ready to go with no regrets.

What about you? Would you regret anything when you die? Would you be scared? Would you pray for more time to be given to you so that you can do more things for people that you care about?

I heard the nurse saying that I've passed out and I heard the anesthetist saying that I did not passed out, it's just that I'm too tired, I fell asleep. I couldn't differentiate what is real and what is not. I do remember that I hallucinate. I saw the anesthetist standing at one side with the staff midwife, chit-chatting. I wasn't angry at their sub-standard service, in fact, I was looking at them and just smiling to myself crazily, and they were saying things like I have a crazed look. Hahas.. I wasn't offended. In fact, I guess even if you insulted at my parents, you stab me or whatever you do to me, I won't be offended. Lols.. I mean, that's how I feel!

But I do not like this feeling of high which I have no control over. I ask the husband, is this the kind of high drug addicts feel when they take drugs, and he said yes, why, am I gonna take drugs just cus I like this high. I said no, I don't like this kinda high so I'll never take drugs.

So well, the pain is slowly going away, I'm starting to shiver, my legs are becoming numb. This is what I want. No pain delivery. Felt the urge to push 30 min after the epidural, told midwife, check cervix, opened at 8cm and was told not to push first. So I was fighting the urge to push and after 5 min, the midwife check the cervix again and am told that I'm fully dilated and am able to push at the next contraction. After 4-5 pushes, I couldn't really remember after the laughing gas, they said that they can feel the head of the baby, but she's not yet at the opening.

In the end, the doctor vacuum her out and stitches me up. She was purplish black and covered in a white substance. It was all really gross and I couldn't feel any love for her. The nurses said it is natural and after they clean her up, she will be really pretty.




23:57

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Queen Sammi
Complicated with a touch of Simplicity