Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me... ~~~

Happy Birthday to me

It's my actual 21st birthday today. And I am spending it alone at home. How EMO is that? hahas.. I realise that for the past few months, my days are usually spent alone... I dine alone, I shop alone, I hang out at home alone. Everything's being done alone. How pathetic is that? My friends tells me that they envy my life, don't have to work, yet can buy everything i want. They said that if they have a life like mine, they would be contented. I told them, No, you won't be contented. Cus you have to be alone most of the time, cus your bf/hubby will be so busy with work to spend time with you and you guys will have alot of quarrels just cus he got no time for you and your kids. Yes, you may be rich, you may have everything you want, but, is it worth it to give up your social life for it? you have friends, but they are all busy working/studying and can't accompany you all the time. when you are upset, no one has the time to listen to you, you have no one to talk/turn to. Is that the life you want? They all replied me firmly with a yes. I always said, well, when that day do come, we shall see den... hahas...

I mean, come on! It's my 21st birthday today, I have not receive a single birthday SMS from my 'friends'. Yes, a few have wished me on facebook, but those that wished me are not really closed friends of mine. 'Friends' that I cared about, didn't bother turning up at my party last weekend. 'Friends' that are not closed and I don't cared about, turned up, and these are the people that I drink with. Those that didn't turn up are those that i tell my problems to. Mui Ling aka Georgina, was really nice, she's one whom I tell my problems to, she's prepared to come down all the way to Sentosa just to celebrate with me. JunYing is also nice, tho' she just a girl that I've came to know recently and been doing my nails for quite a while.

Well, anyway, this post is suppose to be pathetic birthday.. hahas.. Here I am, sitting infront of my desktop, looking around me, I realise that I have everything. But, there's still the feeling of loneliness inside me. I look at my bed, and I realise that I've been sleeping in it alone most of the night. I lie in bed at night thinking about my life. I don't want this kind of ALONE life, I want my husband to be around me when I need him, I want to share with him all the interesting things that I saw when I am outside walking around, I want to be able to have at least 3 meals with him in a week. Is that too much to ask for? hah... In fact, I am actually thinking of doing up a calender, making a mark on those days he is able to come home and sleep with me from the time i sleep till the time i wakes up. So far, the only time he does that was yesterday, 10 May 2010. I am happy about that. See, it's not that I am not an easily contented person, I am!

Alright, I shall not whine so much on my birthday... hahas... Again, Happy Birthday to me..!