i tried voicing out vocally.. but it never seems to work.. you never seems to understand.. you told me you are going to read my blog tml, when you wakes up.. tho' i said that you dont have to read it, but i really do wish that you will read it and understands how i feel..

let's start with Yumei's incident.. it left me speechless.. she was your FIRST love, your FIRST gf, your FIRST serious relationship.. she was your everything! you used to tell me everything.. today you told me that you are afraid of telling my stuffs.. if you are really afraid of telling me stuffs, den why did you tell me everything in the first place.. might as well just start with not telling me anything at all and when you are trying to hide some things, i won't get suspicious!

Yes, i might have gotten angry and throw my temper at you for telling me stuffs which i think is bad and blah blah blah.. but after that, you are forgiven! you don't tell me, and i found out myself, i got even more angry, and it takes longer for me to forgive you! why can't you just understand this?! it totally crush me when i found out that you contacted her and have been hiding it from me.. you even arranged to meet up with her! what if i didn't find out after all? would you still go ahead and meet her and tells me that you're going to work? both of you might not have anything going on, but it doesn't mean that people outside the box will think that way!

Lemme explain to you why:

1. You hide everything with her involve in.
2. You plan to meet her without telling me.
3. She's your FIRST love!

isn't this enough evidence for me to get angry and disappointed in you? you just don't get it, do you? i bet my arse that up till now, you still thinks that i am angry that you contact her! NO NO NO! I am not angry with you contacting her! I am angry that you HIDE things from me!

Secondly, I DID NOT know of any girl named Yu in your life till last night at Liquid Forty when i happen to look at your message when your hp rings. Imagine a guy that you doesn't know existed and suddenly you saw his message and his message sounds so personal and endearing.

What's with 'Don't worry about me darling. Just concentrate on your job. I'll be fine.'????!!! I could not accept your explanation simply cus it just seems and sounds like you're squirming your way out of this situation! You said you were with their group which consist of ONLY CASIN (wadever her name is) and YU! so that's not exactly a GROUP is it? I do NOT know who the FUCK is CASIN and you didn't bother trying to explain to me who she is. only say she's CAPT PANG ASST. How the FUCK would I know who is CAPT PANG? you can just point some guy on the street and say ohh, he is capt pang. and i'll stupidly believe you again.

you know.... typing this thru, i realise that there's not much to be said.. i trusted you.. you broke it.. now come this darling Yu... i don't know wad's right and wad's wrong anymore.. and i really hope and pray hard that you understands wad i'm actually going thru now..

I dont need you to say or advice anything when i talk to you regarding my feelings. i just want you to understand! you always say that you understand, but in true fact, do you really understand? or are you just saying that you understand just so that you could shut me up? i don't know..