07 March 2008
yes.. i do feel free these few days.. but then again, it has also been a problematic and challenging days. i uses these days to think about what i really want.. be it in life or in relationship or material wise. i talked to my frens about it, about us. they all told me not to get back to you just like your frens telling you that i'm out enjoying myself with some other guys and you are sitting there, drinking and mumbling to yourself. well.. we will never know which is true. who knows? here i am, talking to you on the phone and writing this blog. to be frank, i do not have much to say to you. seeing you turning this way, drinking every night till morning, go gym till afternoon and basketball after that and still not sleepy. you yourself already knows that you are sick. and that you are very 'xin ku' and yet you don't want to get any rest, how in the world are you going to get well? and what makes you so sure that the things that you heard from my bro or mum about eric are all true? they all doesn't like eric. that's for sure and it's a bias point of view. so no point listening and believing it unless you've seen it for yourself with your own eyes. i don't know why you are thanking me after you said so much about me hurting you. up till now, you are still calling me 'bie'. so i don't really know what you want. at one point of time, you were so sure that you wanna be with me. you wanto create a future with me. at another point of time, you do not wanto be with me. i do not know whether you know this is contradicting or not, but den again, this is really contradicting. and i really have no idea what you want. but i know what you NEED. you NEED a good rest and wake up feeling refreshed and think carefully again what you want. as someone has once told me that out of 10 people, 11 people don't get what they want. so you only work towards what you are good at den you will be successful. not what you are interested in. if you work towards what you are interested in and got it, you will realise that you are no longer interested in it. that person told it to me using jobs, careers as an example. now i'm telling you this in this relationship wise. that's why i say you need a good rest and think through it again when you wake up. pushing yourself to the limit is not the way out. you said you remember all those first times. i'm touched that you remember these. cus i have really bad memory. and i don't remember such stuffs. you said giving flowers to your gf is a taboo. den why do you still want to give me a bouquet of flowers? perhaps after you given me that bouquet of flowers, it changes everything? have you thought of that? you can choose not to answers these questions and choose not to close down your blog as it can still serve as our communication ways. it can still serve it's purposes. wise words of the day: if they say they really know, what do they really know?10:03